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PULP KADDISH by Reb Jules Winnfield

Image: Monkey, Bananas, John Travolta & Samuel L. Jackson and More Bananas” by Mr. Cary and Banksy (license: CC-BY 2.0)

Tired of people who can’t tell their kiddish from their kaddish? Well, it sets Samuel L. Jackson off too! But he found a way of making a brakha and mourning the dead at the same time. Now I can’t vouch for the origins of his nusaḥ but it sounds very effective!

Most people haven’t noticed, the only real part from the Bible is that last section [adapted from Ezekiel 25:17], the first part is actually his own spiel. [Translation into Hebrew by Aharon Varady.]


הַדֶרֶךְ שֶׁל הַצָדִיק
הוּא מותקף מִכּל הצדדים על ידי העוונות של אנוכי
והרודנות של רשעים.‏
The path of the righteous man[1] is beset on all sides with the iniquities of the selfish
and the tyranny of evil men.

בָּרוּךְ הוּא אֲשֶׁר בְּשֵׁם הָצֶדֶק וְרַצוֺן טוֺב,
יוֺבִיל כְּרוּעֲה אֶת הַחָלָשׁ בְּגַּיְא צַלְמָווֶת
כִּי הוּא שׁוֺמֵר אָחֲיו הֶאֲמִתִּי
וּמְקַבֵּץ טָף אָבוּד
Blessed is he who in the name of charity
and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness,[2] for he is truly his brother’s keeper[3] and the finder of lost children.

‏‏וְעָשִׂיתִי בָם נְקָמוֹת גְּדֹלוֹת בְּתוֹכְחוֹת חֵמָה
מי שמנסה להרעיל ולהרוס את האחים שלי
וְיָדְעוּ כִּי אֲנִי יְיָ בְּתִתִּי אֶת נִקְמָתִי בָּם׃
“And I will strike down upon those with great vengeance and with furious anger
those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.
And you will know that my name is the LORD when I lay my vengeance upon thee” [4] .

Reb Jules Winnfield, in the name of Marsellus Wallace, circa 1994

Cross-posted to Hardcore Mesorah.

Last updated: Wednesday, January 22, 2014  17:55 PM
Shmueli Gonzales

About Shmueli Gonzales


Shmueli Gonzales is a Mexican-American punk and ḥasid. He shares his transcriptions of Jewish liturgy here at the Open Siddur and his divrei torah via his blog, Hardcore Mesorah.

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