Commentary on Al HaNisim

(1)

עַל הַנִּסִּים  Al hanisim
(on the banners – or, miracles)

we need to unpack the banners

וְעַל הַפֻּרְקָן  v’al hapurḳan
(and on the relief)

let’s unfurl them      and
read them
and hold them up
with our elbows
and hearts
and voices
strong

וְעַל הַגְּבוּרוֹת  v’al hag’vurot
(and on the strengths, the strong mighty acts)

we need to redefine strength
and be open to new meanings

וְעַל הַתְּשׁוּעוֹת  v’al hat’shuot
(and on the saving acts,
the redemptions)

some say
וְעַל הַמִּלְחָמוֹת  v’al hamilḥamot
(usually translated: and on the wars
has the same root as: bread)

could be translated as:
                  struggles
                  fights
                  uprisings?

while some say
וְעַל הַנֶּחָמוֹת  v’al haneḥamot
(and on the consolations, on
the comforting)

which, do we ever need that now

שֶׁעָשִׂיתָ  she’asita
(that you did,
or, will do?)

some say
לַאֲבוֹתֵינוּ  lavoteinu
(for our fathers; might also include:
mothers)

some say
לַאֲבוֹתֵינוּ וּלְאִמוֹתֵינוּ  lavoteinu ul’imoteinu
(for our fathers and mothers)

most music
doesn’t leave space
for the matriarchs

which is kind of the whole problem
if you ask me

which
I think you did

בַּיָּמִים הָהֵם בַּזְּמַן הַזֶּה  bayamim hahem bazman hazeh
in those days
(it doesn’t specify which days)
at this time

עַל הַנִּסִּים  al hanisim

what
shall we put
on the banners
we raise
at this time?

what
do we need
to see
to remind       to point       to know      to breathe
to look        up
   that, behold! —

perhaps there is
a ram
   with its horns
caught in the thicket!

and has anyone ever
thanked that thicket by the way?

וְעַל הַפֻּרְקָן  v’al hapurḳan
I wonder what else
might be in
that thicket
right now

וְעַל הַגְּבוּרוֹת  v’al hag’vurot
oh may we know
new strength this year:

in our hearts
to keep beating
to ask strong       and tender new questions
   like experimental bread
and making sure the old ones
   haven’t gone moldy

וְעַל הַמִּלְחָמוֹת וְעַל הַנֶּחָמוֹת  v’al hamilḥamot v’al haneḥamot
(some sing one
while thinking of the other
some sing both
knowing they are twins
two sides of a single coin of gelt)

oh
may we keep fighting, may we take up
new struggles
   and set down the old ones

oh
may we know new comfort and consolation this year:
Naḥum, Neḥamah, Neḥemiah, and Naḥi
oh
may we be comforted
   and may we comfort
among all the mourners

וְעַל הַתְּשׁוּעוֹת v’al hat’shuot
and may we have the strength
and restraint
and internalized comfort
to do acts of saving
and to see them
as they sprout up
all around us

שֶׁעָשִׂיתָ  she’asita
that you did – acted – made
that you will do – act – make
that are in the works
      right now
            at 3 am

לַאֲבוֹתֵינוּ לָאִמוֹתֵינוּ  lavoteinu, la’imoteinu

for our ancestors
for all our ancestors
   across space and time
who knew they could not win
   and then were saved

בַּיָּמִים הָהֵם בַּזְּמַן הַזֶּה  bayamim hahem bazman hazeh
then, now, even now

back then, when it was
almost impossible
and also now

for the banners – miracles,
that you showed our ancestors
about these next days
about this coming time
about us

(2)

עַל הַנִּסִּים  al hanisim
for what we raise up
to keep us going
and point us in the right direction

וְעַל הַפֻּרְקָן  v’al hapurḳan
and for what is released along the way

וְעַל הַגְּבוּרוֹת  v’al hag’vurot
and for the capacity – please! –
   to see our strength
to use it wisely,
   and to know that
      strength looks different
         in different moments

for the courage to know

וְעַל הַתְּשׁוּעוֹת  v’al hat’shuot
that redemption is still possible
even
for us
even
if we keep
our integrity

וְעַל הַמִּלְחָמוֹת  v’al hamilḥamot
for remembering that fight
   was never a bad word
and it’s our job (all of our jobs)
   to keep it that way

v’al haneḥamot
   for knowing that consoling
   is part of the work

שֶׁעָשִׂיתָ לַאֲבוֹתֵינוּ וּלְאִמוֹתֵינוּ  she’asita lavoteinu ul’imoteinu
as we
are in relationship
   with a great benevolent
      and contradictory mystery divinity
who our ancestors
   were also in relationship with
as they wrestled with their
   impossible struggles
that they later outlived

בַּיָּמִים הָהֵם בַּזְּמַן הַזֶּה  bayamim hahem bazman hazeh
as we
have the courage
   to exist
in this moment
   inside of history