הֵצִיץ וָמֵת | He Gazed and Died, a poem on the death of the sage Shimon ben Azzai by Ḥayyim Naḥman Bialik (1916)

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20th century C.E., 57th century A.M., ascent, ההיכלות ויורדי המרכבה haHeikhalot v'Yordei haMerkavah, midbar quest, shimon ben azzai

Source (Hebrew)	Translation (English)
הֵצִיץ וָמֵת	He Gazed and Died
הוּא נִכְנַס אֶל גִּנְזֵי הַפַּרְדֵּס וּבְיָדוֹ לַפִּידוֹ – וַחֲמִשִּׁים לַפַּרְדֵּס שְׁעָרִים, וּבְכֹל נְתִיבוֹתָיו חַתְחַתִּים: תְּהוֹמֵי תְהוֹמוֹת וְהַרְרֵי הָרִים;	He entered the orchard, the torch in his hand. Fifty gates! And paths full of pitfalls — sheer canyons, steep cliffs.
וְלַהַט הַחֲרָבוֹת בַּשְּׁעָרִים, וְאַחֲרֵי הַמְּזוּזוֹת הַנְּחָשִׁים לְמוֹ־אָרֶב – וְהוּא עָבַר שָׁלוֹם בֵּין כֻּלָּם, פָּסֹחַ עַל־נְחָשִׁים וְחָמֹק מִתַּחַת לֶחָרֶב.	Swords flashed at the gates; behind portals ambush of snakes. He passed the snakes safely, eluded the swords.
לִפְנַי וְלִפְנִים נֶחְפַּז לָבֹא וּלְפָנָיו לַפִּידוֹ. מִשְׁתָּאִים, מַחֲרִישִׁים נָסוֹגוּ תַרְשִׁישִׁים: עַז־נֶפֶשׁ, הֲיַהֲרֹס לָבֹא עַד שַׁעַר הַחֲמִשִּׁים?	He sped to the centre, the torch in his hand. Amazed, the seraphs fell back: Will he dare the fiftieth gate?
הוּא יַהֲרֹס! – וַיָּבֹא אֶל גִּנְזֵי הַגְּנָזִים, לֹא־דָרַךְ עוֹד זָר שָׁם, וַיַּחְתֹּר עַד־גְּבוּלוֹת אֵין גְּבוּלוֹת, מְקוֹם הַהֲפָכִים יִתְאַחֲדוּ בְשָׁרְשָׁם.	He will! To the treasure of treasures where no stranger treads; and pressed on to the limit where contraries mix.
וַיּוֹסֶף וַיַּחְתֹּר, וַיִּמְצָא הַיָּשָׁר בַּשְּׁבִילִים – הֶעָקֹם, וַיֵּט בּוֹ, וַיָּבֹא בְּאַחַד הַזְּמַנִּים עַד־מָקוֹם – אֵין זְמַן וְאֵין מָקוֹם.	And on, to the straightest of paths now crooked, coming soon to a place beyond time, beyond space.
עַד כְּלוֹת אוֹר עִם־חֹשֶׁךְ הִגִּיעַ, עַד אַפְסֵי הַתֹּהוּ, לֹא-שָׁלְטָה בָם עַיִן – וְשַׁעַר הַחֲמִשִּׁים, הָאַחֲרוֹן – אֲהָהּ, אֵל מִסְתַּתֵּר – מָה רָחוֹק עֲדַיִן!	In the dark at the end of the eyeless light at the edge of the void, the fiftieth gate: the absence of God.
וְדֹעֵךְ הַלַּפִּיד וְדֹעֵךְ. הַדְּרָכִים מִשְׁתַּבְּשִׁים, הַשְּׁבִילִים מִתְעַקְּלִים – וְכֻלָּם רַק פְּרֹזְדוֹר לִפְרֹזְדוֹר – וְאֵי אַחֲרוֹן הַשְּׁעָרִים? וְאֵי עֶצֶם הַטְּרַקְלִין?	His torch guttered. Paths decayed. A labyrinth of trails. Where were the gates? The pleasaunce itself?
וּכְבָר עָיְפָה נַפְשׁוֹ מֵחֲתֹר. לֹא־נֶאֱמַן אוֹר עֵינָיו וְרוּחוֹ לֹא נָכוֹן; וַיְהִי כִּי לֹא־יָכֹל עוֹד לֶכֶת עַל־שְׁתַּיִם קוֹמְמִיּוּת – וַיִּזְחַל עַל־גָּחוֹן.	He tired of the struggle. Light failed. His spirit flagged. He could stand no longer. He crawled on his belly.
וּבְלַחֲכוֹ עָפָר, עַל־שְׂפָתָיו עוֹד תְּחִנָּה אַחֲרוֹנָה בּוֹעֶרֶת בְּלִי־חָשָׂךְ: “לוּ אָבֹא עַד שַׁעַר הַחֲמִשִּׁים, אַךְ־רֶגַע לוּא אָצִיץ מֵעֵבֶר לַמָּסָךְ.”	He licked the dust, lips burned, eyes begged for the fiftieth gate — and beyond.
הַתְּפִלָּה נִשְׁמָעָה; וּבְטֶרֶם הַלַּפִּיד הַדּוֹעֵךְ עַד־קִצּוֹ יַגִּיעַ – וְשַׁעַר הַחֲמִשִּׁים, כְּלִיל אַבְנֵי הַשַּׁיִשׁ הַטָּהוֹר, לְפָנָיו הוֹפִיעַ.	The prayer was heard. In the dying light of his guttering torch— pure marble stone: the fiftieth gate.
רוֹעֶדֶת הַיָּד, מֻכַּת זֹהַר הָעָיִן –הֲלִדְפֹּק? עוֹד רֶגַע הִתְאַפֵּק, וּפִתְאֹם הִתְחַזֵּק וַיָּעָז, וַיָּקָם מִזְּחֹל – וַיִּתְדַּפֵּק.	His eyes went blind. Hands shook. Should he ask? He paused, then stood, took courage and dared.
אָז יִכְבֶּה הַלַּפִּיד, וְדַלְתוֹת הַשַּׁעַר נִפְתָּחוּ – וַיָּצֶץ שָׁם פְּנִימָה, וַתִּצְנַח גּוּפָתוֹ, וּבְצִדָּהּ אוּד עָשֵׁן, וַתִּגְהַּר עַל מִפְתַּן הַבְּלִימָה.	The torch went out. The gate swung wide. He glanced within, and dropped, beside his smoking brand at the edge of the void.

“He Gazed and Died” was written by Bialik in 1915/1916 (5676 תרע”ו). This translation by Ruth Nevo was published in Chaim Nachman Bialik: Selected Poems (Bilingual Edition 1981). The transcription of the Hebrew was graciously provided by Project Ben Yehuda.

Ruth Nevo (translation)

Ruth Nevo (1924- in Johannesburg, S.A.) Israeli professor of humanities, has been a member of the Israel Academy since 1985.

the Ben Yehuda Project (transcription)

Founded in 1999, the Ben Yehuda Project digitally transcribes Hebrew works in the Public Domain.

Ḥayyim Naḥman Bialik

Hayim Nahman Bialik (Hebrew: חיים נחמן ביאליק‎‎; January 9, 1873 – July 4, 1934), was a Jewish poet who wrote primarily in Hebrew but also in Yiddish. Bialik was one of the pioneers of modern Hebrew poetry. (via wikipedia)

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ויהי נעם אדני אלהינו עלינו ומעשה ידינו כוננה עלינו ומעשה ידינו כוננהו׃ (תהלים צ:יז) · "May the pleasantness of אדֹני our elo’ah be upon us; may our handiwork be established for us — our handiwork, may it be established." (Psalms 90:17)

הֵצִיץ וָמֵת | He Gazed and Died, a poem on the death of the sage Shimon ben Azzai by Ḥayyim Naḥman Bialik (1916)

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