Evening prayer [in illness], by Grace Aguilar (1837)

Contributor(s):

Grace Aguilar and Aharon N. Varady (editing/transcription)

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10 May 2023 under the Creative Commons Zero (CC 0) Universal license a Public Domain dedication

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Well-being, health, and caregiving

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19th century C.E., תחינות teḥinot, 56th century A.M., English vernacular prayer, teḥinot in English, mortality

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Contribute a translation	Source (English)
	Evening prayer [in illness].
	Blessed and beneficent Father, I thank and bless Thee for the calm and holy tenor of this day, for the holy spirit, the love of Thee, which Thy loving-kindness hath permitted should pervade my mind.
	I bless Thee for the bodily suffering Thou didst in Thy mercy make mine own, to draw me nearer to Thee.
	O let not these feelings depart from me; Thy mercy alone can retain them, for my sinful nature is more apt to repine and murmur at continued suffering than love and bless Thee as it hath done today.
	I thank Thee, O my God, for the calm and holy thoughts Thy grace created within me; O purify and exalt them, till meditations of Thee and heaven can alone employ these hours of sickness which I am compelled to pass in idleness.
	I thank Thee for permitting me at times to think of death. O let me be aware of its approach; guard me from the fearful state of those who know not, till the final moment, that they are about to die.
	I pray not for life or death, O Lord, both are in Thy hands, and Thou wilt grant what Thy mercy deemeth best; my trust is in that mercy which Thou hast promised to show unto thousands of them that love Thee and keep Thy comandments.
	I plead not my own righteousness, O my Father, alas! what is it before Thee who “chargest the angels with folly?” (Job 4:18) For the glory of Thy holy name Thou wilt hear me; Thou art the God of truth, and I know that Thou wilt answer me.
	O my Father, permit me to rise tomorrow with these feelings strengthened and increased within me; my trust is in Thee, Almighty Father, O forsake me not; accept my imperfect praises, purify, exalt them, and permit them in Thy mercy to ascend to Thee.
	Pardon Thou the many secret and presumptuous sins whereby I may have transgressed against Thee. Guard me from them in the future, merciful Father, and permit me to resign myself more and more each day.
	Bless unto me the hours of sleep; and if that blessing be denied me, fill my wakeful hours with thoughts of Thee and heaven. I lay me down but lightly afflicted, yet ere the morning dawns disease may increase and death itself approach me;
	O my Father, let me have no will but Thine. Thy mercy can rob even death of its sting, and bid me welcome it as calmly and thankfully as I do my bed. Secure in Thine infinite love I lay me down, and whatever befall me, if never again I may see the light of day in health, O let me have no will but Thine; I know that it is best.
	Bless, O bless those dear ones Thou in Thy mercy hast vouchsafed to me. Lead them in Thy paths, O my God, and grant them every blessing in this life which will prepare them for eternity. Reward unto them the constant love and care for me, and grant me that grateful spirit which will ever bid me love and pray for them.
	I would bless Thee, O my God, for the innumerable blessings with which Thou hast gilded my lot from the first hour that I drew breath, more particularly for those of the past day; but my sinful nature renders every effort tame and cold.
	O merciful Father, forget not the offerings of my heart, though I cannot give them words. Do Thou teach me to praise Thee; permit me to rise tomorrow with a glowing and a grateful heart, prepared to worship and to love Thee.
	And now, O let it please Thee to bless the prayer of Thy servant, that it continue forever before Thee as Thou hast promised, and with Thy blessing, O Lord God, let the earnest supplication of Thy servant be blessed forever. Amen.

“Evening Prayer” by Grace Aguilar was posthumously published by her mother Sarah Aguilar in Sabbath Thoughts and Sacred Communings (1853) and included in the section “Prayers in Illness,” pp. 119-121. The prayer appears between one dated 31 December 1836 and another dated 14 January 1837, along with several other undated prayers. This prayer was not included in Aguilar’s Essays and Miscellanies (1853) containing the version of “Sacred Communings” published in the United States.

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. Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike . 4.0 . International .

“Evening prayer [in illness], by Grace Aguilar (1837)” is shared through the Open Siddur Project with a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International copyleft license.

Grace Aguilar

Grace Aguilar (2 June 1816 – 16 September 1847) was an English novelist, poet and writer on Jewish history and religion. Although she had been writing since childhood, much of her work was published posthumously. Among those are her best known works, the novels Home Influence and A Mother's Recompense. Aguilar was the eldest child of Sephardic Jewish refugees from Portugal who settled in the London Borough of Hackney. An early illness resulted in her being educated by her parents, especially her mother, who taught her the tenets of Judaism. Later, her father taught the history of Spanish and Portuguese Jews during his own bout with tuberculosis which had led the family to move to the English coast. After surviving the measles at the age of 19, she began to embark on a serious writing career, even though her physical health never completely recovered. Aguilar's debut was an anonymous collection of poems, The Magic Wreath of Hidden Flowers. Three years later she translated Isaac Orobio de Castro's Israel Defended into English at her father's behest. Later her The Spirit of Judaism drew interest and sales in both Britain and the United States after being published in Philadelphia by Isaac Leeser. He added a preface to the work elucidating his differences with her, the first of many clashes her work would have with mainstream Jewish thought. In the 1840s her novels began to attract regular readers, and Aguilar moved back to London with her parents. Despite her success, she and her mother still had to operate a boys' Hebrew school to stay solvent, which she resented for the time and energy it took from her writing. In 1847, she became ill again with a spinal paralysis which she did not let prevent her from visiting her brother in Frankfurt. Her health worsened and she died there that September.

Aharon N. Varady (editing/transcription)

Aharon Varady (M.A.J.Ed./JTSA Davidson) is a volunteer transcriber for the Open Siddur Project. If you find any mistakes in his transcriptions, please let him know. Shgiyot mi yavin; Ministarot naqeni שְׁגִיאוֹת מִי־יָבִין; מִנִּסְתָּרוֹת נַקֵּנִי "Who can know all one's flaws? From hidden errors, correct me" (Psalms 19:13). If you'd like to directly support his work, please consider donating via his Patreon account. (Varady also translates prayers and contributes his own original work besides serving as the primary shammes of the Open Siddur Project and its website, opensiddur.org.)

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ויהי נעם אדני אלהינו עלינו ומעשה ידינו כוננה עלינו ומעשה ידינו כוננהו "May the pleasantness of אדֹני our elo’ah be upon us; may our handiwork be established for us — our handiwork, may it be established." –Psalms 90:17