Meditation for the Penitential Days, by Grace Aguilar (ca. 1830s)

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Aharon N. Varady (editing/transcription) and Grace Aguilar

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21 May 2023 under the Creative Commons Zero (CC 0) Universal license a Public Domain dedication

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Yom Kippur

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English vernacular prayer, Aseret Yemei Tshuvah, paraliturgical reflections, paraliturgical seliḥot, 19th century C.E., סליחות seliḥot, 56th century A.M.

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Contribute a translation	Source (English)
	Meditation for the Penitential Days.
	The day of atonement cometh, that day, when we believe an Almighty Father writes in his book of Judgment all those deserving of rewards and punishment!
	How awful is that consideration; how doth it tell of the awful majesty, the unwavering justice of an Eternal God! And yet our earthly nature shrinks from the atonement we make for our past sins, the abstinence from all food for five and twenty hours, with far greater dread than from the thought of the awful judgment perchance pronounced upon us; we devote days to pleasure, to enjoyment, and can we grudge one single day out of the 365, devoted to the service of the Almighty.
	It is not only a day of mortification and of prayer; we should do but little good to our souls if we look not into ourselves with a stern unshrinking eye, and probe into the inmost recesses of our hearts, which Jeremiah saith “is deceitful above all things,” (Jeremiah 17:9) and fear not the pain it inflicts, but calmly, steadily, unshrinkingly behold our many sins and faults. We cannot repent for our sins if we know them not; we cannot amend our faults if they are hidden from our own eyes; we may confess that we have sinned, but our confessions will do us but little good, if we know not what those sins are.
	On each of the ten days that precede that awful day of atonement, morning and evening should we look into our souls with greater strictness than we have ever done before, and with the help of the Almighty, ere the solemn day arrives, our multitude of sins and faults will take a distinct form before us, and however we may shrink from so mortifying a view of ourselves, our prayers on the day of atonement will be more acceptable in the sight of that Almighty Being who is to judge us, and more beneficial to ourselves. Then, then may we break our fast with rejoicing and delight; then when we have seen our sins and know them, and have promised in our minds to amend them, and try by the next year to have fewer sins for which to atone, then may we feel our prayers have been heard and are acceptable to God, and all may then obey the word— “Go thy way and eat thy bread and drink thy wine with a merry heart, for the Lord thy God hath accepted of thy works.” (Ecclesiastes 9:7) How, then can I subdue the tremblings of my soul, as this day approacheth nearer and nearer— by prayer, by fervent and humble prayer.
	I will pray to my God for strength to regard this solemn day, not as a day of fast and pain to the body, but as a day devoted to Himself, when not even the yearnings of our nature can interrupt our prayers to Him; and if He in His mercy will hearken to my prayers and pour His spirit on my soul, my spirit will not fail, the cravings of nature will be as naught, and my soul will glow in joy and love and adoration.
	I will go to Him to point out my sins that I may know them, that my repentance may be sincere, my amendment visible; thus, will I regard this solemn day, and with the Almighty’s grace, I shall obtain strength to regard it not with dread and trembling, but as a day devoted to Himself and to repentance.
	Praised be His Holy Name!

“Meditation for the Penitential Days” by Grace Aguilar was published posthumously by her mother Sarah Aguilar in the UK edition of Sacred Communings, pp. 88-90. It is not found in the US edition.

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. Creative Commons Public Domain Dedication . 1.0 . Universal .

“Meditation for the Penitential Days, by Grace Aguilar (ca. 1830s)” is shared through the Open Siddur Project with a Creative Commons Public Domain Dedication 1.0 Universal license.

Aharon N. Varady (editing/transcription)

Aharon Varady (M.A.J.Ed./JTSA Davidson) is a volunteer transcriber for the Open Siddur Project. If you find any mistakes in his transcriptions, please let him know. Shgiyot mi yavin; Ministarot naqeni שְׁגִיאוֹת מִי־יָבִין; מִנִּסְתָּרוֹת נַקֵּנִי "Who can know all one's flaws? From hidden errors, correct me" (Psalms 19:13). If you'd like to directly support his work, please consider donating via his Patreon account. (Varady also translates prayers and contributes his own original work besides serving as the primary shammes of the Open Siddur Project and its website, opensiddur.org.)

Grace Aguilar

Grace Aguilar (2 June 1816 – 16 September 1847) was an English novelist, poet and writer on Jewish history and religion. Although she had been writing since childhood, much of her work was published posthumously. Among those are her best known works, the novels Home Influence and A Mother's Recompense. Aguilar was the eldest child of Sephardic Jewish refugees from Portugal who settled in the London Borough of Hackney. An early illness resulted in her being educated by her parents, especially her mother, who taught her the tenets of Judaism. Later, her father taught the history of Spanish and Portuguese Jews during his own bout with tuberculosis which had led the family to move to the English coast. After surviving the measles at the age of 19, she began to embark on a serious writing career, even though her physical health never completely recovered. Aguilar's debut was an anonymous collection of poems, The Magic Wreath of Hidden Flowers. Three years later she translated Isaac Orobio de Castro's Israel Defended into English at her father's behest. Later her The Spirit of Judaism drew interest and sales in both Britain and the United States after being published in Philadelphia by Isaac Leeser. He added a preface to the work elucidating his differences with her, the first of many clashes her work would have with mainstream Jewish thought. In the 1840s her novels began to attract regular readers, and Aguilar moved back to London with her parents. Despite her success, she and her mother still had to operate a boys' Hebrew school to stay solvent, which she resented for the time and energy it took from her writing. In 1847, she became ill again with a spinal paralysis which she did not let prevent her from visiting her brother in Frankfurt. Her health worsened and she died there that September.

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ויהי נעם אדני אלהינו עלינו ומעשה ידינו כוננה עלינו ומעשה ידינו כוננהו "May the pleasantness of אדֹני our elo’ah be upon us; may our handiwork be established for us — our handiwork, may it be established." –Psalms 90:17