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Soliloquy of Yehudis, by Morah Yehudis Fishman


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Soliloquy of Yehudis

May I begin to speak with the permission
of the one creator and sustainer of all worlds,
and with deep respect, address
those who claim to carry out his word


Oh men of Torah, where is your Torah
that so protects the honor of your brides?
Oh men of prayer, where is your prayer
for those feminine faces of Shekhinah?
Oh men of charity, where is your charity
for those whose gentle kindness restores life?
True, a battle was won on uncommon ground;
one bottle of oil was found intact,
burning far beyond times’ boundaries.
But not all battles have yet been won;
not all the lights have been safeguarded.
The oppressors are still at our gates, upon our necks,
and upon our women, our living sanctuaries.
Where is your fight for that clear light
whose pure essence may soon be snuffed out?


You wise men say
Sarah added to the heavenly luminaries.
How then can you let earthly reflections
now suffer threats of annihilation?
You said that young Rivkah brought the fire back
as soon as her feet skipped past the door of Sarah’s tent.
How then can you allow
our direct currents of holiness to be defiled?
And was it for nothing that Yaacov crossed the Yabok
to retrieve from the shamen of the future,
a tiny cruse of oil,
found in wonder when twelve stones merged?
Could his sons who were embedded in those stones
have even begun to grow
without four maternal flames
whose tongues brought forth tribal names
in flares of prophecy?
Did father Jacob wrestle in vain
with an angel of this worldliness?
Perhaps his nerve was weakened,
but yours appears to be more than dislocated!


Still, who am I to rise up
where no man of valor takes a stand,
no ish ḥayil there….
But is an eishes ḥayil no flammable match
for a faltering ish?
However, I am no Devorah or Yael,
(though ḳabbalists say I am her reincarnation).
I have no holy namesake except for one woman
named by a man with a head so disconnected
that smoldering embers trapped within
had no way out
until they reached the cave of Makhpeilah,
where heaven and earth embraced
could it be that my name given in deceit
would like a phoenix rise from ashen sparks,
to challenge those who come with mighty chariots?


Yet dare I, a daughter of Aaron, model of love and peace,
perform an act so violent, so unladylike…
but dare I not also act like a prior scion of Levi,
to take weapon in hand and restore taharah to my sisters?
My brothers, dear grooms,
are you not ashamed to be circled seven times
by candles cradled in the hands of your bride
after she’s been violated?
Would it not be better to first surround the enemy camp
like Joshua, the first head of the armies of Israel?


Ah yes, that’s it, that’s how-
the head is the solution!
And if the heads of Israel have forgotten their power,
then the heart of a high priest’s daughter
with a name like Judah and a vision of Tamar,
must rise and stir more than pots and stews;
a hand that moves a spindle
can also wield a sword to save the keruvim;
can also rekindle the courage of tomorrow,
can banish the dark to the crevices of oblivion,
and can once again and forever
restore her people to their destiny
as a menorah for humanity.

This is a Soliloquy in the voice of Yehudis (Judith) written by Moreh Yehudis Fishman sometime between 2000 and 2010, and published by Boulder Jewish News in December 2017.

A Hebrew translation by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, z”l, was once made and it may still survive in an archive or on an old hard drive, but we have not yet seen it. If you have a copy of the translation or can locate it, please let us know.

For the full Megillat Yehudit in Hebrew with English translation, find it here.




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