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Things That Are Not To Be, a prayer-poem in the event of a pregnancy loss by Rabbi Hanna Yerushalmi (LGPC)

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In this world of endless possibilities,
Some things are not to be,
A voiceless answer to my prayers,
An echo of the sounds of creation
A tree uprooted then replanted
The sun tracing a path backward
Across the vast hollow horizon.
Some things are not to be,
The baby that grew tenderly within
Gone now, leaving whispers and flutters
A trail of tears, a mountain-top loneliness
Born from wind and salt and clay.
The body remembers with neural connections
Woven together to embrace me, remind me
You were once here
A frail silvery thread connected
You ever so tentatively to me.
It frayed as the twilight unfolded
The world of endless possibilities
Offered one more thing, not to be:
This loss I wanted to refuse,
The silver thread needs mending
Frail yes, but you were once here.
Not in full form, not in full color
Not full of spirit nor body
And yet something of you lingers.
You belong to the twilight,
You dwell in the whispers,
You echo in my holy tears.

“Things that are not to be,” a prayer-poem by Rabbi Hanna Yerushalmi (LGPC) in the event of a pregnancy loss was first published in Mishkan R’fuah: Where Healing Resides (CCAR 2013), p. 49-50.

 


 

 

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