Each Loss Breaks a Pattern, a prayer for a shiva by Trisha Arlin

Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike (CC BY-SA) 4.0 International

Date: 2015-04-06

Last Updated: 2025-04-01

Categories: Mourning

Tags: 21st century C.E., 58th century A.M., English vernacular prayer, Prayers as poems, shiva

Excerpt: This prayer was written to introduce the service at a shiva minyan. . . .

Content:

This prayer was written to introduce the service at a shiva minyan.

Contribute a translation	Source (English)
	Baruch Atah Adonai Ruach HaOlam Blessed One-ness, Breath of the Universe Breathing us in Breathing us out.
	Each loss breaks a pattern.
	We remember and we pray.
	We remember our loved one, _(_name_) Beloved _(_relationship_) Each loss breaks a pattern, And we remember them.
	We remember them Because they gave us to ourselves, We remember them Because we loved each other, And we remember Because, well, That is our job.
	Every loss breaks a pattern, And we pray.
	We pray and place ourselves in front of the fear, We place ourselves in front of the anger, We place ourselves in front of the grief, We pray and delight in our memories We pray and listen for music that reminds us there will be joy again.
	We pray for the long repair that happens after the patterns break.
	And we give thanks for the ancient traditions, Telling the story even when we can’t.
	Hallelu Yah, breathing in, Remembering us when we cannot.
	Hallelu Yah, breathing out, Praying with us when we feel alone.
	Amen

Contributor: Trisha Arlin

Co-authors:

Name: Trisha Arlin
Bio: Trisha Arlin is a liturgist, teacher, performer and student of prayer in Brooklyn, NY and was a part-time rabbinic student at the Academy of Jewish Religion (AJR), 2012-18. Trisha was the Liturgist-In-Residence during the National Havurah Committee’s 2014 Summer Institute, has served as Scholar or Artist In Residence at many synagogues where she has read, led services and taught her class, Writing Prayer. since the pandemic began, Trisha has been on Zoom teaching prayer writing, sharing her liturgy and doing readings with Ritualwell, Haggadot.com, for synagogues around the country as well as small freelance groups. She is a founding builder of Bayit’s Liturgical Arts project. Trisha received a BA in Theater from Antioch College in 1975 and MFA in Film (Screenwriting) in 1997 from Columbia University. In 2009/2010, Trisha was an Arts Fellow at the Drisha Institute. In 2011, she graduated from the sixth cohort of the Davennen Leadership Training Institute (DLTI). A longtime member of Kolot Chayeinu/Voices of our Lives, a progressive unaffiliated congregation in Brooklyn NY, Trisha’s liturgy has been used at services and ritual occasions and in newsletter there and at venues of many denominations around the world. Her work has been published in her book, Place Yourself: Words of Poetry and Intention (a collection of liturgy and kavannot. Foreword by Rabbi Jill Hammer, Artwork by Mike Cockrill. 2019 Dimus Parrhesia Press); the Journal of Feminist Studies in Religion; Seder Tefillot, Forms of Prayer: Prayers for the High Holydays (Movement for Reform Judaism); B’chol Levavecha (CCAR Press); Beside Still Waters: A Journey of Comfort and Renewal (Bayit & Ben Yehuda Press); A Poet’s Siddur (Ain’t Got No Press); Studies in Judaism and Pluralism (Ben Yehuda Press) and can be found online at TrishaArlin.com, at RitualWell, and of course, the Open Siddur Project. You can support her work by buying her book, making a one time donation through PayPal @trishaarlin or monthly support via Patreon.
Website: https://triganza.blogspot.com
Profile Link: https://opensiddur.org/profile/trisha-arlin

Featured Image:

Title: 1024px-Close-up_of_baby’s_breath_(Gypsophila_paniculata)_flowers
Caption: Close-up of baby's breath (Gypsophila paniculata) flowers. Picked from roadside near the Point Betsie lighthouse, Michigan. Each flower is roughly 1 mm (less than 1/16th in) across. (credit: Avenue, license: CC BY-SA)