Another Prayer for Self-knowledge, by Grace Aguilar (ca. 1830s)

Source Link: https://opensiddur.org/?p=50788

Date: 2023-05-11

Last Updated: 2024-12-17

Categories: Repenting, Resetting, and Reconciliation

Tags: 19th century C.E., 56th century A.M., English vernacular prayer, self-reflection, teḥinot in English, תחינות teḥinot

Excerpt: "Another prayer for self-knowledge" by Grace Aguilar was published posthumously by her mother Sarah Aguilar in Essays and Miscellanies (1853), in the section "Sacred Communings," pp. 171-173. . . .

Content:

Contribute a translation	Source (English)
	Another prayer for self-knowledge.
	Almighty Father of mercies! Father of Heaven, oh look down with benignity on a child of sin, thus lowly prostrate before Thee; humbly, earnestly, fervently beseeching Thy divine grace to enable me to know myself; for my heart is deceitful above all things, and mine eyes are blind to its defects; but Thou, oh Almighty Father, Thou “searchest all hearts, and triest the reins, that man may be tried according to his ways, and according to the fruits of his doing;” (Jeremiah 17:10) and deceitful though our hearts may be to ourselves, they are known to Thee, oh God! and hidden as they are from us, their every failing, passing weakness, their slender virtues, all are known to Thee, and all are open to Thy just and awful inspection. But if we know not our own hearts, oh God, how are we to walk in thy paths? how dare we approach even to the footstool of Thy dazzling throne, when our own sinful hearts are unknown to us?
	Father of Mercy! King of Justice! oh listen to my humble and earnest entreaty. Oh, God of Israel! let not my prayers be disregarded, but grant them, if not for my sake, for the sake of that great and holy Name which is blessed above all things. Oh pour Thy divine grace upon my soul, that my heart may stand before me in all its wickedness.
	Discover to me, oh gracious God, my own sinful heart, its failings, its passions, and its weakness, that I may guard against them; that I may not fall in error through self-ignorance.
	And discover to me, oh my Heavenly Father, those talents Thou hast bestowed on me, that I may walk in that path for which they were designed.
	Grant me Thy divine grace, oh blessed Lord God; for without Thy divine illumination all will be darkness, where all should be light.
	Make known to me the depths and devices of my heart; for without Thy divine aid and instruction, oh my God, how dare I hope to know myself.
	Oh hear me, my Heavenly Father! hear me as I thus prostrate myself before Thee. Oh listen to my earnest, beseeching prayer. Let me not plead in vain, oh merciful God, but bestow on me that divine light which will illumine the darkness.
	Oh hear me, Father of Mercy; hear me, thou King of Justice, whose dread hand is ever writing over our heads a record of our words, thoughts, and actions.
	Hear me, oh God of Israel, and for the sake of the glorious Messiah Thou hast promised unto Thy people, oh grant my fervent and humble prayer.
	Blessed be Thy great and holy name, henceforth and for evermore! — Amen.

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“Another prayer for self-knowledge” by Grace Aguilar was published posthumously by her mother Sarah Aguilar in Essays and Miscellanies (1853), in the section “Sacred Communings,” pp. 171-173. The prayer does not appear in the UK edition of Sacred Communings (1853).

Source(s)

 

Contributor: Aharon N. Varady (transcription)

Co-authors:

• 
  Name: Grace Aguilar
  Bio: Grace Aguilar (2 June 1816 – 16 September 1847) was an English novelist, poet and writer on Jewish history and religion. Although she had been writing since childhood, much of her work was published posthumously. Among those are her best known works, the novels Home Influence and A Mother's Recompense. Aguilar was the eldest child of Sephardic Jewish refugees from Portugal who settled in the London Borough of Hackney. An early illness resulted in her being educated by her parents, especially her mother, who taught her the tenets of Judaism. Later, her father taught the history of Spanish and Portuguese Jews during his own bout with tuberculosis which had led the family to move to the English coast. After surviving the measles at the age of 19, she began to embark on a serious writing career, even though her physical health never completely recovered. Aguilar's debut was an anonymous collection of poems, The Magic Wreath of Hidden Flowers. Three years later she translated Isaac Orobio de Castro's Israel Defended into English at her father's behest. Later her The Spirit of Judaism drew interest and sales in both Britain and the United States after being published in Philadelphia by Isaac Leeser. He added a preface to the work elucidating his differences with her, the first of many clashes her work would have with mainstream Jewish thought. In the 1840s her novels began to attract regular readers, and Aguilar moved back to London with her parents. Despite her success, she and her mother still had to operate a boys' Hebrew school to stay solvent, which she resented for the time and energy it took from her writing. In 1847, she became ill again with a spinal paralysis which she did not let prevent her from visiting her brother in Frankfurt. Her health worsened and she died there that September.
  Website: https://jwa.org/encyclopedia/article/aguilar-grace
  Profile Link: https://opensiddur.org/profile/grace-aguilar
• 
  Name: Aharon N. Varady (transcription)
  Bio: Aharon Varady (M.A.J.Ed./JTSA Davidson) is a volunteer transcriber for the Open Siddur Project. If you find any mistakes in his transcriptions, please let him know. Shgiyot mi yavin; Ministarot naqeni שְׁגִיאוֹת מִי־יָבִין; מִנִּסְתָּרוֹת נַקֵּנִי "Who can know all one's flaws? From hidden errors, correct me" (Psalms 19:13). If you'd like to directly support his work, please consider donating via his Patreon account. (Varady also translates prayers and contributes his own original work besides serving as the primary shammes of the Open Siddur Project and its website, opensiddur.org.)
  Website: https://aharon.varady.net
  Profile Link: https://opensiddur.org/profile/aharon-varady-transcription

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