Schedule for the Reading of Psalms corresponding to the Weekly Parascià and on other special days, according to the Roman Rite
Contributed by: Isaac Gantwerk Mayer, Isaac Gantwerk Mayer (translation)
An English-language adaptation of the Roman rite psalm system for all days when Torà is read, to be recited while the Torà is being taken from the bimà. All Hebrew words are transcribed in accordance with the traditional Italian Hebrew phonological system, in a slightly modified Italian orthography. . . .
כִּי־לְךָ תֻּקְרָא כׇּל־בְּרָכָה | Ki Lᵊkha Tuqra Kol Bᵊrakhah, a macaronic poem for Yom Meturgeman by Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Contributed by: Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
This is a macaronic poem for Yom Meturgeman. Macaronic poetry is poetry in multiple languages at once. In this case, the languages reflected are Hebrew, Aramaic, Judeo-Arabic, Yiddish, Ladino, and English, with a repeated Hebrew refrain. Each language is meant to rhyme with the colloquial Hebrew as it would be read — i.e. though the Yiddish doesn’t rhyme with the modern Hebrew pronunciation, it rhymes with the traditional Ashkenazi one. . . .
איידי! סיליבראמוס | Айде! Селебрамос | Ayde! Selebramos — a Ladino adaptation of Mordkhe Rivesman’s “Oy Khanike” by Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Contributed by: Isaac Gantwerk Mayer, Isaac Gantwerk Mayer (translation)
An original Ladino adaptation of the song “Oy Khanike” (derived from the Yiddish poem of the same name by Mordkhe Rivesman) also known in English as “Oh Chanukah” or in Hebrew as “Y’mei ha-Ḥanukka.” I’m aware that the custom of spinning tops was not originally a Sefaradi one. So sue me, I was looking for something to rhyme with “libertaḏ.” I’ve included the Rashi script, the Aki Yerushalaim orthography, and (as an added bonus) the Cyrillic transcription used by the Jews of the Balkans. . . .
Yā Ḥanukka[t] | יָא חַנוּכָּה | يَا حَنُكَّة — a Judeo-Arabic adaptation of Mordkhe Rivesman’s “Oy Khanike” by Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Contributed by: Isaac Gantwerk Mayer, Isaac Gantwerk Mayer (translation)
An original Judeo-Arabic adaptation of the song “Oy Khanike” (derived from the Yiddish poem of the same name by Mordkhe Rivesman) also known in English as “Oh Ḥanukkah” or in Hebrew as “Y’mei ha-Ḥanukka.” With thanks to Mazen Haddad for his help with the Arabic! Some notes: 1) Case endings and nunation, which would (in colloquial dialects) often be skipped or dropped, are transcribed in brackets. 2) The word “sufnāj” is a Moroccan Arabic dialectal word which is the agent noun for sfenj, a traditional type of North African doughnut. . . .
אֵל קוֹל דְּמָמָה | El Qol D’mama — a piyyut for the end of Tishah b’Av by Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Contributed by: Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
This is an original piyyut, inspired by the structure of the beloved Yom Kippur Ne’ilah piyyut El Nora ‘Alila. In the era of the Sanhedrin, every fast day would have a Ne’ilah service between Minḥa and the conclusion of the fast. While these are no longer in practice for any days other than Yom Kippur, the editor personally feels like it could be worth bringing them back. As part of this idea, this piyyut is meant to be sung after the end of Tishah b’Av mincha but before the fast ends, as we prepare for the weeks of comfort. It is expressly *not* a qinah. . . .
Poetic Birkat haMazon for a Zeved haBat Seudah, by Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Contributed by: Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
After a brit milah meal, there are several poetic additions traditionally included in the Birkat haMazon. But for young daughters a brit milah isn’t going to happen. So this is a poetic Birkat haMazon to be recited after a Zeved haBat ceremony. . . .
סדר חצוצרות לראש חודש | Seder Ḥatsotsrot l’Rosh Ḥodesh (the Rite of Trumpets for the New Moon)
Contributed by: Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
A ritual for a public blast of the silver trumpet on the new moon, to be inserted before the recitation of the psalm for the new month. It is the hope of the editor that the fulfillment of this joyous mitzvah will once more be practiced throughout all Israel. Or, barring that, at least a few more places. . . .
💬 מגילת פורים קטן | Megilat Purim Qaṭan, by Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Contributed by: Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
A megillah for reading on the 14th of Adar Alef (Purim Qatan) or the 15th of Adar Alef (Shushan Purim Qatan). Double the Adar, double the fun, so add to the list of Purim sheni megillot, this purely legendary tale riffing on what has become a very familiar post-Shabbes lunch/shabbes afternoon pastime among many Jews since the boardgame, “Settlers of Catan” came into being. . . .
סדר ספירת הין | Order of the Counting of the Hin (in a parallel universe), by Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Contributed by: Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Scene: the Technion Institute, midnight. A physics graduate student accidentally opens a portal to another timeline. The portal remains open just long enough for someone on the other side to pass a siddur through. Mostly the siddur looks very familiar, but there are a few things odd about it. The following is the first of several uploads the editor is planning that reflect this parallel universe, wherein all Judaism is conducted according to the rabbinic norms of our universe, except for two things. Firstly, the festivals of wine-offering and wood-offering as described in the Temple Scroll of Qumran were included as part of scripture. And secondly, the custom of writing the Tetragrammaton in Paleo-Hebrew is preserved. Anyway this is a count of the fifty days after the wine-offering festival, in which the new oil is gathered from the tribes of Israel to the Temple. The instructions say only half a hin of oil per tribe, which suggests that by “tribe” something more akin to “family group” is meant, since a total of six hin wouldn’t be enough for the Temple to function. . . .
סדר ספירת הנסך | Order of the Counting of the Nesekh (in a parallel universe), by Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Contributed by: Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Scene: the Technion Institute, midnight. A physics graduate student accidentally opens a portal to another timeline. The portal remains open just long enough for someone on the other side to pass a siddur through. Mostly the siddur looks very familiar, but there are a few things odd about it. The following is the first of several uploads the editor is planning that reflect this parallel universe, wherein all Judaism is conducted according to the rabbinic norms of our universe, except for two things. Firstly, the festivals of wine-offering and wood-offering as described in the Temple Scroll of Qumran were included as part of scripture. And secondly, the custom of writing the Tetragrammaton in Paleo-Hebrew is preserved. Anyway, this is a count of the fifty days after Shavuot, in which the new wine is gathered from the tribes of Israel to the Temple. Apparently there were four different kinds of wine delivered, but we don’t know what they are. Let’s just say red and white, mevushal and non-mevushal. . . .
תַּֽמּוּ חֲלוֹמוֹתֵֽינוּ | Tamu Ḥalomotenu, a seliḥah for Yitsḥaq Rabin by Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Contributed by: Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Jews around the world fast on the day after Rosh haShanah to commemorate the murder of Gedalyahu son of Aḥiqam, the officer appointed over Judah who sought to make peace and rebuild before being murdered by a religious extremist and officially bringing an end to the first commonwealth era. The tragedy of Gedalyahu is not just that he was assassinated, but that he was assassinated by a Jew who was using religion (specifically his claim to the line of David) as an excuse. This narrative bears striking similarities to the murder of Prime Minister Yitzḥaq Rabin on 12 Marḥeshvan 5756. On account of this, some Jews have taken it upon themselves to memorialize Rabin on Tzom Gedalyahu as well. This piyyut could be added to the seliḥot for Tzom Gedalyahu, or part of a new seliḥot service for 12 Marḥeshvan. . . .
A Neo-Ḳabbalistic Amulet Against Dog Allergies, by Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Contributed by: Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
An amulet to protect against dog allergies. Made for a relative with a bad dog allergy who was forced, for work reasons, to host an event featuring many dogs. Print on both sides and keep it in your pocket. Best if used with Zyrtec. . . .
עֲנֵֽנוּ | Egalitarian Aneinu, by Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Contributed by: Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
This is an egalitarian version of the Aneinu litany recited at the end of Seliḥot services, featuring equal representation for the women of the Tanakh and Talmud. . . .
אֶפְתַּח פִּי לְךָ אָדוֹן | Eftaḥ Pi L’kha Adōn, a seliḥah for Kristallnacht by Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Contributed by: Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
There’s a lot of controversy over Yom haShoah as a date. One of the key issues is this: traditionally, the ways Jews mourn communal tragedies is through establishing a fast day. It’s forbidden to fast during the month of Nisan. It’s hard to pick any specific date to commemorate a tragedy as enormous as the Shoah, but one which seems appropriate to me would be 16 Marḥeshvan, the anniversary of Kristallnacht, the November Pogrom. This piyyut is a seliḥah for Kristallnacht, to be recited on 16 Marḥeshvan (or 15 Marḥeshvan on years like 5782 where the sixteenth falls on a Thursday). . . .
כַּוָּנָה וּבְרָכָה עַל רְאִיַּת נְחִיל רֶמֶשׂ גָּדוֹל עַד־מְאוֹד | Kavvanah and Blessing for Observing a Massive Swarm of Creeping Things, by Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Contributed by: Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
There are blessings for beautiful vistas, and there are blessings for powerful weather. But is there a blessing for giant swarms of bugs? Certainly! There just wasn’t a kavvanah for it… yet. Inspired by the appearance of Brood X in May 2021, this is a meditation and blessing for the unique experience of seeing an enormous number of non-dangerous insects. Cicadas are NOT a plague — they don’t eat crops or spread disease, but they do help revitalize the soil and keep forest ecosystems healthy. As a natural part of the universal order, we should work to see the divinity and goodness in them, even if we might normally think of them as gross. . . .
סֶֽרַח בַּת־אָשֵׁר | Seraḥ bat Asher, a Havdalah Song by Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Contributed by: Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Some communities have a practice of singing a song about Miriam alongside the well-known Havdalah song about Elijah the Prophet. But Miriam isn’t really a parallel to Elijah — she’s a parallel to Moshe and Aaron. When we’re talking about distaff counterparts to Elijah the clearest example is Seraḥ bat Asher. Seraḥ, the daughter of Asher, is mentioned only a handful of times in the Tanakh, but is given great significance in the midrash. Like Elijah, she is said to have never died but entered Paradise alive, and comes around to the rabbis to give advice or teachings. This song, which includes several references to midrashim about Seraḥ, is meant to be sung to any traditional tune of “Eliyahu haNavi.” It is dedicated to Ḥazzan Joanna Selznick Dulkin (shlit”a), who introduced me to the legends of Seraḥ bat Asher. . . .
קְלִפּוֹת לֶפֶת | Items for the Second Seder Plate: Turnip peels, after the Holocaust remembrance of Pearl Benisch
Contributed by: Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Pearl Benisch… remembers Passover in the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp in Germany in the spring of 1945, just days before her liberation. . . .
קָפֶה בֵּית מַכְּסְוֶיל | Items for the Second Seder Plate: Maxwell House coffee
Contributed by: Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Why is this coffee different from all other coffees? Because Maxwell House coffee is a deeply spiritual representation of the Diaspora experience. . . .
כְּרֵשׁוֹת | Items for the Second Seder Plate: Leeks
Contributed by: Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
An old Persian tradition involves hitting each other with leeks during the recitation of Dayenu. Nowadays this is replaced with a gentle tap with a scallion for safety reasons. . . .
כּוֹס לְמִרְיָם | Items for the Second Seder Plate: Miriam’s Cup of Water
Contributed by: Isaac Gantwerk Mayer
Rabbi Yosi son of Rabbi Yehuda says: “Three good sustainers arose for Israel. These are they: Moses and Aaron and Miriam. And three good gifts were given because of them, and these are they: well, and cloud, and manna. The well was given in merit of Miriam… Miriam died and the well ceased, as it is written (Numbers 20:1-2) “And Miriam died there,” and it says right afterwards “and there was no water for the community.” . . .